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Amzinoji

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Alright, this definitely needs some explaining. I've been missing again for a substantial amount of time, and realistically this wasn't something I had planned on. In fact, my original plan was to start uploading my backlog of finished drawings and try to start the year strong on uploads. Unfortunately, life has a tendency to throw curve balls at people, and sometimes they hit you right in the face.


Unfortunately, as I was spending a little bit of time with friends and family during the holiday season, one such curveball came to hit me hard. Right after Christmas, my fiancée and I were slapped with the news that her mother was suffering from a returning case of lung cancer; a diagnosis the stubborn old woman had managed to beat once, but unfortunately cancer wasn't about to let her off lightly, and we were faced the reality that not only had it returned, but it had gone terminal, spreading into her bones and beginning to fill her lungs with fluid. We were originally told it was pneumonia because she was afraid to tell us the truth, and by the time we knew what was actually going on, there was no hope to save her. The only choices available were to fight the cancer aggressively and simply delay the inevitable or have her enter hospice care to try and make her last days as comfortable as possible.


She entered hospice care shortly after, with my fiancée preparing to move in with her to be her 24/7 caretaker, so that she could have the peace of mind to be in her own home with her cat and daughter... After less than 48 hours, she passed in her sleep, after the two of us and some close friends in a voice chat had wished her a good night's rest. With no money for a full funeral service, an apartment full of family belongings that needed moved, and a family pet needing moved homes to be with us, the month of January has been one filled with stress, grief, and uncertainty. As it stands, we are only just now finishing up with it all.


To everyone who has taken time to stop by my page, favorite any of my drawings, or even give me a watch; I want to thank you for still showing interest in my drawings, and your patience with me as I transition out of this difficult time. I hope to be able to start uploading again soon and move past this terrible start to the year in hopes that the rest of it shall be better.

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Alright, I just wanted to tell everyone who's still playing attention on here, uhm... Yeah, I'm still alive, I'm not in the best shape but I'm okay. Things have been a little down trodden, and realistically speaking I should have been trying to get myself to be more active but when you're tired and your sleep schedule is nonexistent, time sorta slips from you.


Anyway, while I've been very off and on with getting myself to draw, and I do know there's some stuff I need to get to, I do also have some stuff that I'm sure people would like seeing posted and I'm gonna go ahead and start uploading them after my work shift.


Uhm, in terms of RP, I'm probably going to cut that down to people I'm close to or feel like I know reasonably well; I've got a lot to keep track of and adding 10-20 people is going to mean I can't pay enough attention and I don't want to do that to anyone.


Anyway, first post of daily art Dump...9am EST? Well try around then.

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So I'm sure anyone who actually waits for me to upload and has noticed I haven't uploaded in...hold on, I gotta check, one...two... Two and a half months roughly, back in February. While I wish I could give an easy, short answer as to what's going on over on my end, sadly life is never quite as simple as we'd like it, so I have some info that I need to try and condense into an at least somewhat digestible setup.


Firstly want to say, yes, hi, I'm still alive; though admittedly I don't feel alive, in the physical sense I still very much am kicking. Kinda. I guess you could say I'm more-so just floating; not drowning, but not swimming with much effectiveness. While my new job has been a blessing in giving me stable income, it has also been a curse in that it has been draining me of my energy due to the amount of labor I actually do. Some days I get home, get my work clothes off, and immediately pass out on my bed rather than have any drive to get to drawing.


This does not mean I'm stopping drawing, I'm trying to get myself back into doing it regularly, but it's very much been a sort of 'I get one drawing finished, now I go to bed' sort of deal. I do intend to get back to uploading, at least at some point, but I can't give any gaurantees as to if it will remain consistent for any extended period of time.


As a side to this, any commissions and art trades are off the table until further notice. I know there's a few people that had asked me about commissions and I haven't gotten back to them in forever (this is kind of why I do my whole 'no payment til I've got your stuff sketched' sort of deal) and I may or may not eventually get to those drawings as just regular things in passing(?) but I won't really be taking on anything new for certain now.


On a similar note, I will not be regularly messaging people outside of my close friend group. If you had been RPing with me, or were wanting to, or you just want to get a hold of me because you want to get to know me; yeah, sorry, there's too much stuff going on. If I've personally called you a friend in private then you might have some luck, but otherwise your chances are kaput. I'll still reply a few times on uploads I make, but outside of that, I have a lot of other stuff that simply is more demanding of my attention.


I really hope everybody has a good day, I'll be setting up an upload for today, and then I'm probably going to pass out in bed.

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I think it's not really any news that I've been...really inactive, way more than I honestly should be, and with nothing really to show for it.

The honest-to-god explanation behind my sudden and unannounced hiatus, I guess you could call it, is that a mix of things have really worked to kick my ass with the depression bat. I don't want to go too deep into it honestly and accidentally jump back into that hole.

I do know that I do want to get back into the swing of things eventually, and I have actually been trying to get myself to sketch with some moderate success. I know there's a few people who have been waiting months for me to get back to them in regards to doing commissions, please understand that I haven't forgotten those, I've just been really out of it.

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So, the past... month? Month and a half? Have not neccesarily been so kind to me. With my move-in to my apartment still not technically complete (mostly due to the previous occupant being an annoying SOB), overtime work to prepare the plant I work for to be audited, and a general tightness with funds I haven't really been able to do too much. I even about a week ago had to go to see a doctor about my eye, as a tiny piece of plastic had gotten caught inside my eyelid and was, and I quote, "causing abrasions to the eyeball". Needless to say, shit happens.

In all honesty, I'm not happy with where I am in this point of time, not in any part due to meager followings here with my pictures or the like, but moreso due to my inability to do anything worthwhile with the few precious hours a day that I have. I guess you could say that my disappearance was, in a sort, an impromptu hiatus while I get my shit together. And from the looks of it, it's nowhere close to being done.

Anyway, this is just a long and drawn out way of me saying... Yes, I'm still here and I am still alive, but I'm just very busy and I sorely wish I was not so buried in things to do so that I could go back to uploading on a weekly basis like I wanted. At some point down the line, that will be what happens again, but for now I truly have no idea when that time within the next few months will be.
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